Emotion is the principal vehicle for storytelling, and we only feel the story through the experience of the protagonist: we feel what they feel, and if we don’t know what they’re feeling then we don’t feel anything at all (except, perhaps, bored). Thus, the reader must always know how the characters or feeling. Lets look at how we achieve this.
There are two ways of saying what someone feels: illustrative or declarative. Illustrative might include metaphor, analogy or most importantly of all action. Declarative is coming straight out with the words:
“Kieran was sad.”
“Appoline was lonely.”
“Deckard was confused.”
Declarative writing is far and away more straightforward than illustrative writing. If you’re writing a research paper or trying to explain a complex problem, direct, clear declaration is the best choice.
However, if you’re writing fiction. consider this as an alternative to “Kieran was sad.”
“Kieran took the photos from the wall, one by one, leaving clean rectangles on the wallpaper where they had been blue tacked to his bedroom. He paused on one with his father, where Kieran was all of seven years old and carrying a football that they had stopped playing with not long after his mother left. He placed each photo in a purple folder, which was just a large piece of card creased in two. After half an hour he was done. He sat on the bed with the folder. He had no idea where to put the pictures. They weren’t his anymore.”
Not a great piece of writing, but hopefully you can see that it conveys much more feeling than “Kieran was sad.” What’s more, if I had written “Kieran was sad. He took the photos from the wall, one by one…” we instantly have an inferior piece was writing. Illustrative writing is more effective than declarative writing for conveying the feeling – especially if we liberate it by avoiding declaring the emotion all together.
By now you’ve almost certainly (if you’ve ever read anything about creative writing) figured out that illustrative and declarative writing is another way for the much more popular phrase “showing and telling.” We are told to show not tell, and hopefully I’ve given an example above of how showing is more effective than telling. But why should that be the case? We all know what if feels like to be sad, so isn’t enough to get straight to the point?
There are two main reasons why illustrative writing (showing) is better than declarative writing (telling) when it comes to emotion.
The first is that simply declaring Kieran is sad has not given us enough information about him or his emotion. We don’t know enough about them to know about how they are feeling – because sadness comes in as many forms as there are people multiplied by the possible number of sad events. There are many ways to be sad.
If you recall our work on Theory of Mind [LINK], you’ll remember that the way we understand the emotions of others – be the real people or characters in a story – is by projecting our own mind into the story and imagining how we would feel if we were them. So, we start off with “how would I feel if this happened to me,” and then adapt that based upon what we know about the character. Kieran is sad doesn’t give us much to work with. Kieran keeps family photos blue-tacked to his bedroom wall but is taking them down; Kieran’s relationship with his father has changed and he doesn’t know what to do with it; Kieran is organising his memories into a folder with the intention of putting them away for good: these things we can imagine ourselves doing, and, through that, actively feel Kieran is sad rather just being told it is so.
The second reason is both simpler and more complex. Reading requires effort and concentration. Effort and concentration lead to engagement: the more we think about something, the more involved we feel, and so the greater the emotional impact. “Kieran is sad” is the bad crisps of sentences. Crunch, crunch, still feel hungry. If the reader must unpack his sadness from his actions, that extra work is paid back in spades.
Saying something does make it so. Your reader has no reason to take your word for anything. You can achieve a great deal more with a powerful image than a great many declarative sentences. Showing a little is better than telling a lot. Your reader will fill in the blanks if you present them with a powerful image. That’s not to say you should never use declarative writing: telling is occasionally fine if you need to get some heavy exposition out of the way. But think about it. If something isn’t worth showing, why is it in your story?
What about great authors who get away with telling? Well, you can get away with it if you have particularly brilliant, provocative ideas: A Brief History of Time doesn’t give us characters or emotion but it’s a mind-blowing read. Readers will put up with a lot of telling if it’s worth it. But are you sure you’re ready to take the risk?
Ideas are much harder to sell than experience. Life is experience. Ideas are constructed afterwards. You will be much more effective if the reader discovers the idea through the experience (a reason why experiential learning is so effective). So, that’s what “show don’t tell” means. Don’t tell me the character’s emotions. Make me experience them.
Exercise
Paul Ekman developed the idea of six basic emotions.[i]
Sadness: An emotional state characterized by feelings of disappointment, grief or hopelessness (Frown, loss of focus in eyes, tears)
Happiness: A pleasant emotional state that elicits feelings of joy, contentment and satisfaction (Smile, laughter)
Fear: A primal emotion that is important to survival and triggers a fight or flight response. (Wide eyes, tense stretched lips)
Anger: An emotional state leading to feelings of hostility and frustration (Glare, eyebrows drawn together, tight lips)
Surprise: A brief emotional state, either positive or negative, following something unexpected (Raised brows, open mouth, gasp)
Disgust: A strong emotion that results in feeling repulsed (Wrinkled nose, gagging, no eye contact)
For this exercise take any one of these emotions and write a 200 word scene in which it is clear that the character is experiencing the emotion. However, you are not allowed to use the word for the emotion or any synonyms (no rage for anger, no sorrow for sadness, etc.). Remember that your scene should also include something the character wants, an obstacle in their way, and an effort to overcome the obstacle. Good luck!
[i] https://online.uwa.edu/infographics/basic-emotions/
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