For a such a grand shared experience, it amazes me how very different our lives are living through the COVID-19 Lockdown.
My wife and I live in a two room flat just outside Paris. Which is nice. We were due to complete the purchase of a larger flat the very week the the lockdown started. Which is either lucky or unlucky, depending on how you feel about it. I spend my days in a room trying to entertain three small children who want nothing more that to go outside. How the hell do I write in these conditions?
As my wife works from home, and is thus in constant Zoom meetings in our bedroom, my experience of Covid-19 has been constant childcare (18months, 2 1/2 years, 5 1/2 years) plus the removal of a large proportion of the health care that helps me manage my injuries from service.
So when I hear people complaining about isolation (sitting in their gardens, taking long walks in the countryside, or even just being on their own in an armchair with a book), my honest response is one of envy and loathing. I want to be isolated! Leave me alone with my laptop! Plus, much as I adore my kids – and they’re great – spending all day every day with them is fucking boring.
Which reminds me, in turn, that everyone’s experience of this is unique. That all of us are battening down the hatches and getting by as best we can. And we can’t understand how other people are living when we are so busy struggling with our own lives.
So: writing during confinement. Some of the finest pieces of literature have been written in confinement (I always find Oscar Wilde’s final, unfinished letter particularly touching and tragic). But fuck those guys. Write exactly as much as it pleases you/you are able. This time is your excuse to write as a hobby again. For God’s sake don’t say “hey, this is a time of extraordinary emotional pressure, now is the time I must write my masterpiece!” Because that would be stupid.
I have a novel I’m desperate to finish, and, during those brief flashes when I can write, it pleases me very much to be back in the editing process. However, the only rational thing to do is to stop worrying about deadlines and publication dates. There are children that need tickling. My wife needs a steady supply of crisps and small snacks. And I need to do the best I can to take care of myself.
The upshot of this is that I will be consistently late for all deadlines. There will be no Little Wonder play this month (this months and the next are almost there, but almost isn’t enough). The last competition feedback is almost ready but I need a quiet hour to sort the data, and, well, I haven’t had one of those in a while. There’s other stuff I’m forgetting, and I won’t remember it until the world gets a bit more normal. I’m sorry, but I can’t do any better,
My wife has gone to extraordinary lengths to keep on top of her work and give me some time to write – I will publish my second novel this year, and it’s because of her. Not everyone has that sort of luck; if you can’t write, you can’t write. Give yourself a break.
What’s the answer to “how do I write in these conditions?” The answer is, quite simply, is not very much. When I can. What I can. And that’s okay. Life isn’t always going to be optimal.
Remember to read. If you’re a writer you like reading. Reading heals the soul. Even if its just for five minutes.
And most of all remember to give yourselves and each other a break. We are all living a very different COVID-19 lockdown and we can’t walk in other peoples shoes. The better default is to show some love. If nothing else, it increases the chance they’ll review your next book!
With buckets of love to everyone who is struggling through this time, no matter how or why.
Keith
xxx.
