I’ve seen the pictures on social media. Writers in their writing rooms, with a view of the snow. Writers in their gardens sipping wine and tapping into their laptop. Writers glorifying in this splendid isolation, determined to make 2020 the most productive year of their writing careers.

And then there’s the rest of us. For us shmucks in tiny apartments, in poor health, with kids or family problems or just weighed down the the existential horror of surviving a pandemic with a bunch of self-absorbed egomaniacs running the world – this is my quick guide to being a writer when COVID is making everything suck.